His choice of car should be enough to guarantee a five-star review of his new book Car Hacks. A nudge, a wink and a guarantee of a free coffee at the next Haynes breakfast club meet in exchange for a glowing review on PetrolBlog. Job done.
But it takes more than free coffee* to impress PetrolBlog, even if the glimpse of Craig’s delightful Passat as early as page five guarantees at least one star.
There’s even a photo of Craig wearing a pair of shorts while using a breaker bar, but don’t let that put you off.
Car Hacks “sets out 126 simple hacks, tips and tutorials to transform your car and its environment to improve daily motoring life,” reads the PR bumf.
It’s a great book, but it can’t quite deliver on the ‘improving daily motoring life’ thing. Steve Wright is still on the radio, the Honda Jazz is still allowed access to Britain’s B-roads, people are permitted to add eyelashes to headlights, and the three-spoke alloy wheel isn’t a guaranteed fail at an MOT test.
Still, you can’t have everything. Besides, the book is called Car Hacks, not Car Miracles.
Some of the tips and tricks will be familiar to car enthusiasts, but others will be a surprise. Crucially, the majority are genuinely useful, such as using a bungee cord to hang shopping bags in the boot. The use of cupcake cases in the cupholders is another neat trick.
There’s also a five-page section on water ingress, which is relevant to at least half a dozen cars in the PetrolBlog garage, as is the use of a herbal tea bag as a dehumidifier.
The release of Car Hacks is likely to come as a big relief to Craig’s wife, who was no doubt struggling to understand why he was forever disappearing to the garage with her nail polish and stockings, plus a tub of Vaseline, a tennis ball and a sink plunger.
Look out for Craig’s follow-up book, Fifty Shades of Car Hacks.
You can discover Craig’s excuses for ‘borrowing’ the items by ordering the book, which is available from all good bookshops (and some dodgy ones, too).
PetrolBlog recommends Car Hacks. It looks good, which is crucial when you’re considering Christmas presents; it’s a handy size, which means it’s easy to take to a dinner party where no car people are on the guest list; and it contains a photo of a pair of wiper blades wearing socks.
Car Hacks is available online for around the tenth of the price of a £100 Laguna. Start dropping some hints.
*Feel free to chuck a few pennies in the coffee fund via the homepage. Well, a blog is for life, not just for Christmas…