PetrolBlog's new year's resolutions

As John Lennon probably didn't sing, so that was Christmas, and what did PetrolBlog do?

It's an age-old question. You return to work in the new year, to be greeted with countless 'how was your Christmas?' enquiries. The standard response is 'oh, it was a quiet one'.

Only this time it wasn't particularly quiet. If the ravaging effects of man flu weren't enough, PBHQ was constantly on red alert to fend off the worst of the winter floods. Something that's continuing well into 2014.

But all that is rather dull and not in the spirit of PetrolBlog. So to kickstart the new year, PetrolBlog has decided to outline a number of new year's resolutions. A few things we're planning in 2014. Check back in a year to see if we stick to them.

Get the body in shape

It's fair to say that we've let our bodies go a little. Lack of attention and months of neglect have left things looking a little out of shape. So some bodywork is required.

The Citroën ZX 16v needs some FailCar-style detailing, the Honda Accord needs drastic work and the Citroën AX GT's hole in the rear wing isn't going to fix itself. So it's off to the body shop for the three of them. Although not at the same time. That would be silly. And would leave PBHQ car-less.

Fix the leaking roof

You know how it is. First it's a drip, and then it's a deluge. If only you had fixed that leak sooner.

The shoddy rear window sills on the ZX have already been documented, but we're still looking for replacements. But the Honda Accord appears to be facing a far worse problem - and there's nothing like the worst floods for decades to discover your ancient Japanese saloon is like a colander on wheels.

First there's the inside of the boot lid, which is covered in hundred of tiny water droplets. Then there's the dealer-fitted aftermarket sunroof, complete with optional shower, which provides a steady stream of droplets as you head around the local lanes. Seriously, wearing a shower cap is needed at present.

And then there's the pools of water in the rear footwells. The seats are dry, as are the doors, so one can only assume the miniature ponds are caused by the excessive condensation on the headlining. In short, the Honda needs work.

Or it needs the garage. Which is currently being occupied by the ZX, still recovering from its first swimming lesson before Christmas.

Give up smoking

Bless the poor little Citroën AX GT. Neglected for two years and now booted out of the garage whilst the ZX dries off.

No MOT and - if the excessive amount of smoke is anything to go by - in dire need of a service. As soon as the alloy wheels have been refurbished, she'll be off to get some tips on how to give up smoking. No more Gauloises for this French mistress.

Learn a little French

And speaking of French, 2014 marks the 21st anniversary of the launch of the original Renault Twingo.

How will PetrolBlog commemorate this momentous occasion? By making good on its promise to head over to Paris and buy a typically Parisian MK1 Twingo. It's been threatened for long enough. This year it will finally happen.

Drag the skeletons out of the cupboard

There's a fourth member of the PetrolBlog Fleet and it's yet to be introduced. It's fair to say it pushes the limits of acceptability, even by PetrolBlog's standards. But it needs to be dragged out of the cupboard and presented to the readers of PetrolBlog. Yes, that means both of you.

Stay tuned for the next update...

Improve our timekeeping

OK, hands up, we admit it, things got a little sporadic on PetrolBlog last year. A rush of new blog posts was swiftly followed by a period of silence, before a flood of new posts appeared in quick succession.

Well that can't happen. So 2014 will herald the arrival of something a little more structured. You can look forward to the reliability of a 1990s Renault and the punctuality of a British Rail train. Oh wait, that's not right.

But we do promise to post a maximum of three posts a day, at 8am, 1pm or 8pm. You can set your Casio F-91W by us.

Re-connect with the community

Friends come and go - that's only natural. But Team PB is in need of a reshuffle. Some of the names on the list have gone quiet, whilst others who are frequent contributors aren't on the list. So this needs to be sorted.

Existing members of Team PB - get ready for an email. And if either of you two readers fancy chancing your arm as a member of Team PB, drop us a line at: I've Got Nothing Better To Do With My Life, PO BOX There's Nothing On TV, There Must Be More To Life Street, etc, etc. Or just drop us a telex. Or fax. Or something.

In the meantime, here's to 2014. Happy New Year to all our readers (and listeners of PetrolPod).

Have you ever been to a Harvester before?