Nissan Note Black Edition: humdrum to holy moly

It’s a funny old world. This is the week in which Aston Martin launched a car you can’t afford and won’t be able to buy until 2018, whilst Ferrari unveiled a topless LaFerrari that is already sold out. Meanwhile, back in the real world, Nissan made a Note.

It’s called the Nissan Note Black Edition and it is — in PetrolBlog’s uninformed and ill-judged opinion — rather wonderful. Who’d have thought a few black bits and bobs could turn something humdrum into holy moly. This could be the best looking B-road obstacle the world has ever seen.

The Note Black Edition defies logic; it’s like one of those extreme makeover shows in which the college ugly duckling is transformed into the prom queen. A liberal sprinkling of black paint and, hey presto, a sharp looking supersize supermini is born. Whether the Note’s traditional target audience is ready for such a racy transformation is anyone’s guess.

That rear spoiler is going to send Bert and Aida into a tailspin – it’s even more exciting than a full house at bingo or a rude word in the Countdown conundrum. And those side skirts and body-coloured bumpers give the Note a new aggressive stance. Seriously, roll into retail car park after dark in this bad boy and folk will give you respect. For shizzle. Or something.

The black treatment extends to the 16-inch alloy wheels, door handles, mirror covers, B- and C-pillars, along with an interior that could give Batman wet dreams for a month. Nissan has even gone to the trouble of adding a black headliner, for the full bat cave effect.

Of course, Batman would opt for the metallic Pearl Black paintwork, but PB happens to think the Note works best in contrasting pearlescent Storm White.

Sadly, the changes are merely cosmetic, so the Note Gotham Edition isn’t likely to be troubling a Fiesta ST or Corsa VXR. But hey, to paraphrase the Caped Crusader: it’s not what the Note is underneath, but what it does that defines it. Yeah, you’re right, that isn’t really working.

But credit where credit’s due – this is one good looking Nissan Note and the most exciting edition this side of the JDM Note Nismo. Will it appeal to the Note’s traditional audience? That remains to be seen, but at least that natty rear spoiler is something to admire the next time you’re stuck doing 37mph on your favourite B-road. It will also divert your attention away from the permanently illuminated fog light.

The Nissan Note Black Edition, which is based on the mid-spec Acenta trim, is available from all good Nissan dealers and bat caves.