Fusing horror with pain: Bentley EXP 9 F

“Customer and public reaction will be analysed following the unveiling of EXP 9 F at Geneva 2012, with the aim of refining the concept further. Above all, Bentley will be listening carefully to the reaction of customers and potential customers throughout the world, prior to making any definitive commitment to production.”

This is the penultimate paragraph of the press release that accompanied the announcement that Bentley will be unveiling the EXP 9 F concept tomorrow morning at the Geneva Motor Show. And I’m very, very glad the paragraph was there, as before then I was just about to give up all hope. 

Things didn’t start well when I read that the concept is a “fusion of contemporary, crafted luxury, advanced in-car technology, commanding driving position and all-terrain capability”. In my book, unless you happen to be from Ford, you should avoid the use of the word ‘fusion’, especially when it is followed by twaddle such as this. Apparently, the interior is “a fusion of luxury with utility”. Good grief.

I could tell you about the 6.0 litre twin turbocharged W12 engine and 8-speed transmission. I could also tell you about the split tailgate and reversible silk wool floor mats. I could even mention the rear chilled compartment for champagne and glasses.

But I wont, because it’s impossible to look get past of the thing. It’s as though Bentley has deliberately targeted the Chinese market by producing what looks like a pastiche luxury SUV. If an aftermarket styling house or a footballer had done this makeover, we’d be pointing at it and laughing. One can only imagine just how bad the LED daytime running lights will look when they’re illuminated.

Bentley EXP 9 F at Geneva Motor Show 2012

On the plus side, at least the Chinese may be able to improve on this one. Having said that, simply not unveiling it in the first place would have been an improvement. I was going to pick out the worst bits, but I’m struggling to condense them into a manageable list.

So I beg you. If you’re off to the Geneva Motor Show, do the right thing. Let the friendly chaps on the Bentley stand know what you think.

You know it makes sense. If they go on to build it, you’ve only got yourselves to blame.

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Gavin Big-Surname
The chief waffler and founder of PetrolBlog in 2010. Has a rather unhealthy obsession with cars from the 80s and 90s, and is on a one-man mission to collect the cars nobody else wants. Also likes tea and Hobnobs.

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