It’s Friday, it’s five to five… it’s Crackerjack – CRACKERJACK! Oh wait, that’s not right is it? It’s Friday, it’s 12 o’clock… it’s Retrospective – RETROSPECTIVE!
Sadly, PetrolBlog can’t afford the fees needed for Ed Stewart or Stu ‘Ooh I could crush a grape’ Francis to present this feature, but we’re sure we could stretch to a pencil or a cabbage.
For readers of an age where this ‘cult’ television reference will have gone right over your head, we apologise. We’ll quickly move on to Retrospective, the feature which takes a wander into the store room, throws on the flickering fluorescent light and rummages through the filing cabinet in search of old press photos. Specifically the press photos of cars and people. Last week the feature made its debut with the Skoda Felicia, this week it’s the turn of the Citroën AX.
Ah, there’s nothing like positioning your car next to a horse being groomed alongside a show jump to instil some ruggedness and countrysideness* to your marketing push. Only the AX wasn’t rugged and unlike the 2CV it wouldn’t be all that good at driving across paddocks.
And just what has happened to the show jump wing on the left? It doesn’t appear to be there, presumably because it would have looked strange poking out from behind the AX?
Where to start with this one? Firstly, we can’t go too far without mentioning the lady’s attire? Admittedly PetrolBlog isn’t known for its fashion sense, but just what is she wearing? A pair of very skimpy shorts and what can only be described as a long-sleeved bikinicroptop (OK, I made that name up). And didn’t her mother tell her never to go out in bare feet?
By the way they’re facing their sun, forcing them to squint a little, it looks like they’ve been caught doing something they shouldn’t by the lake. And by that I mean buying an AX GTI when everyone knows the smart money was on the AX GT.
Here’s a little game for you. Which of the three mothers owns the AX parked outside the St Mary’s School? Is it a) the lady in red with the Alice band, b) the lady in the middle or c) the lady carrying the small baby?
Come on, who is it? Answer coming up below the photo…
Wrong! It’s a very young looking Gabby Logan who, in her days as Gabby Yorath, was taking her first steps on a broadcasting career which would eventually peak when she’s asked to present hit TV show, Splash! Nice red jeans, Gabby.
By the mid-90s, Citroën was still plugging away with the rural theme. This time they enlisted the help of famed lamb actors, Larry and Minty. Fortunately for Larry and Minty, their careers as lamb actors was short lived and they were last seen playing to a small crowd at the Shoulder of Mutton. Their glory days well behind them.
When you go shopping, do you have any habits? Personally I like to shop in my local branch of CO, where I helpfully position my car in the middle of the road leading to the car park. I often receive warm praise and a series of appreciative hand gestures for my efforts. At least I think they’re warm and appreciative.
We rejoin our friends from earlier where we once again find them parked alongside some water. He’s put on a little weight, but it’s good to see the lady has wrapped up warm this time and has found some comfortable outdoor shoes.
Unfortunately for our loved-up couple, a few minutes after this photo was taken, somebody literally opened the floodgates, transforming the AX Cascade into an AX Torrent, before eventually settling on an AX Submerged.
Ah yes, the Citroën AX Spree, seen here in a rather fetching Tropical Violet colour scheme. Feeling flushed with cash, Citroën managed to convince Banksy to do some early artwork for them and even had enough small change leftover to hire a Cheryl Baker tribute act. The former Bucks Fizz star didn’t get a lot of work, so when she got the call it didn’t take her long to make her mind up.
There’s nothing quite like sharing a joke with your cycling friend as he stops to take in all that is good about being outdoors – the grass. And the white lines.
More Retrospective nonsense coming soon.
*I made this word up too.