PetrolBlog prepares for its summer shutdown
And so we reach the end of August, the time when PetrolBlog prepares for its annual summer shutdown and embarks on a few days of team building and general nonsense. The lightbulb has been unscrewed, the out of office has been set on the Telex machine and the lockup has been...well, locked.
As is traditional at PBHQ, the annual summer shutdown involves a number of ever so delightful activities, with a focus on returning fresh for the autumn term. And this year is no different.
Most of us will spend the first few days taking advantage of the untold luxuries provided by the Plymouth Voyager's Magic Camper Package. Yes, it's off to Sandy Balls in the New Forest once again, where we'll drink Blue Nun until the early hours, whilst nibbling on some KP Nuts.
Sadly, Gladys from Accounts won't be joining us for the camping part of the trip, as she's still having nightmares following her attempts to use the Honda CR-V's optional boot-mounted shower. How was she to know the boys from the local Sea Cadets would arrive just as she broke open the bottle of Timotei? Fortunately nobody has told her the lads were armed with smartphones.
The camping will be followed by a trip to the seaside where we'll indulge in our favourite 'Hide the Chevrolet Captiva in the sand' game. We literally have four and a half minutes of fun, right up until the point at which the irate Chevrolet owner notices his car has gone missing. Normally the offer of a free Funny Feet lolly from the beach café has a cooling effect. Although telling the owner he should have bought a Qashqai doesn't help matters.
We're undecided on the choice of entertainment for the evening, although watching Christopher Biggins touring Morrisons car park in his Peugeot 207 CC is always a treat.
The alternative is some motivational speaking from Ann Widdecombe, although judging by her initial reaction to our request for her services, she may not be too keen on the idea.
But regardless of which A-list celebrity we end up with, we'll definitely find time for a spot of Vauxhall Corsa Bingo. It's OK, we have absolutely no idea what's going on here, either.
The next morning, a brisk walk along the promenade will flush the Blue Nun hangover from our systems, before it's off for a coach ride in our newly acquired Toyota. Disappointingly, our favourite bus - the Leyland National - is currently off the road, otherwise we would have taken that.
But never mind, we'll take the Toyota to visit a mother and daughter who have just purchased matching Mitsubishi Mirages. We can't believe the story is true. Surely it's just a mirage?
Yes, we certainly know how to make the most of our summer shutdown. And to think that PetrolBlog's Stockholm office has to slum it on a camping trip in a Saab 92 with Elsa, Ella and Elina. Oh, wait...
If you haven't read between the lines yet, this is the final post from PetrolBlog...
But we will return again in September. We'd like to say a big thank you to all our customers, we're eternally grateful to our fan in Manilla, friends in Kent, the lurkers in Canada and Marcel of no fixed abode. We also understand Bananarama's Siobhan Fahey once dropped in, but that may have been a rumour.
When we return, we'll empty the PB suggestion box again. The last time we looked there was an old shirt button, a discarded bus ticket and half a Jaffa Cake. If you'd like to add anything, please use the suggestion box.
Take it easy.
