FailCar does Paris

PetrolBlog wasn't invited to the Paris Motor Show. I can only assume that our invite was lost in the post or it was a mere clerical era. But fear not, as the irreverent @FailCar was there and has provided this exclusive left-field view especially for PetrolBlog. Mr @FailCar, we salute you.

I thought alongside my other duties at Paris that I would take note of some of the slightly more obscure things and also the atmosphere. You can read anywhere else about what was going on elsewhere but for PetrolBlog l thought to keep things a bit left-field.

Any colour you like - as long as it's matte

The car manufactures always seem to take a while to catch up with what the boys in McDonald’s car park are doing. Why they try to catch up I don’t know but anyway the big thing this year at Paris was Matte.

[caption id="attachment_1042" align="aligncenter" width="590" caption="Matte Damon"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1047" align="aligncenter" width="590" caption="Matte Smith"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1048" align="aligncenter" width="590" caption="Matte LeBlanc"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1051" align="aligncenter" width="590" caption="Matte Bianco"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1053" align="aligncenter" width="590" caption="Matte Dawson"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1054" align="aligncenter" width="590" caption="Matte Dillon"][/caption]

VTEC says goodbye yooooo

Here is a Honda Civic Type R Championship white edition. I know it’s not a new car, but seeing as it just got killed by EU emission regs then I thought I would take a picture as it’s possibly the last time it will be at an international motorshow. I was never a huge fan of this variant compared to its more hardcore double wishbone predecessor but hey, I still love it and it will still be missed. Let’s hope it returns along with the Honda ride and drive days that were a notable event on any motoring journo calendar.

5.1 - Straight-jackets optional

I don’t know what was going on in Hall 5. Seriously, I think everyone in there had all gone a bit nutty. I am not going to post what was on show from a certain manufacturer from Norfolk, I’m sure you have seen enough of that, and err yeah good luck to them with that. So what else was in hall 5.1?

Sitting opposite the Lotus stand was this – The Fisker Karma production model. It was unveiled not long after the Lotus unveiling and as such not many people paid much attention. Like many other journalists I was still slack jawed bumbling around the Lotus stand (“ A city car as well? WTF.”). The Fisker is a rather handsome car but for some reason they had decided to cover it in what can only be described as like that glitter that pre-school children use. I was expecting macaroni detailing on the interior. They also had a picture of a girls arse hanging from the backseat of a Karma – why? Because this is lower hall 5, it’s mental up in here.

Hiding around the back of the Fisker stand was this Porsche Cayenne, I suppose once you have seen one garishly modified Cayenne you have seen them all. I didn’t bother to get any more information on this you can gather all the information you will ever need with your eyes. Following the recent news of Gemballa being found dead then if you do like distastefully modified Porsches give these guys a shout.

As you can tell this is a Smart car, I straight away thought that this is the sort of car that one of those stupid spoilt little brats should get given on MTV’s Sweet Sixteen. It’s horrendous and it’s made by a company called Carface. Need I say more?

Short but sweet

Remember the Pontiac GTO, possibly the first ever muscle car? Well Pontiac are not around no more so you know the Aixam Microcar? Probably seen it at the odd motorbike dealer collecting dust...well this is the GTO version. I looked at this for a good 14 seconds before being distracted by a new wheel that seems to be available on the iMIEV- It looks like a SAAB 3 spoke.  I then saw the police version, lost interest and meandered off to the Hyundai stand.

Hiding around the corner from Hyundai and surrounded by rage-esque buggies was what appeared to be a recreation frogeye. This is a Norster 600R. The R stands for ridiculous. The proportions were all wrong and it had scissor doors that looked terrible. I thought with a 600cc engine in the rear it might possibly at least be a good laugh (Honda Beat anyone) No. It’s got a Chery 580cc engine with 1hp and 2NM of torque. I honestly don’t know what this was doing here, because quite clearly should have been in hall 5.1.

Aside from launching some all new ‘proper’ electric vehicles Renault had the final production ready Twizy on display. I really was not expecting the final production ready versions to look like this, but hey they look pretty Jazzy. I also saw a man hanging around them having a good look, seemingly wearing a suit and trousers that he had slept in. On closer inspection it was Gordon Murray, and with this new found knowledge suddenly he looked like a snazzy ‘man about town car’ designer, and not just some guy in blue crete paper trousers. In some countries you will not even need a licence to drive the Renault as long as they are restricted to 10hp, however in the UK you do so only the 20hp variant will be on offer. My main afterthought? Meh, it’s better than a bloody Gwiz.

Anything else notable?

Sitting in a glass case on the Rolls Royce stand was a picnic set. According to the blurb below it takes 1500 hours of work to make it. I don’t know how much it costs, but I suspect it’s a case of if you have to ask...

Just as an idea of how manic it can get, here is a shot of a Renault unveiling. Basically this involves looking at the back of other journalists/photographers heads, while listening to some CEO reading from an autocue. Once he has finished everyone clears off and you can look at the car.

The same goes for the unveiling of the MINI Countryman WRC. Some serious media attention here and more name dropping of Paddy Hopkirk (who was there!) than you can shake a stick at. Bloody jokers.

In order to drum up attention for their unveiling Lotus were handing out these Esprit models throughout the day. It now lives on my desk among many other toys.

On making my way over to Hyundai I spotted the rather strange site of a Pizza delivery boy working his way through the crowd. Who knows maybe @TomHyundai got hungry.

You can follow the excellent FailCar at http://twitter.com/failcar.