Far be it for me to blow my own trumpet, but I think I’ve come up with an idea with the whiff of genius. It’s something that will make you more popular with your friends and family, while increasing your chances of enjoying a good drive this Christmas.
We’re all familiar with the concept of ‘Click and Collect’, when you order something online and then head to your nearest shop to pick it up. Simple. But what if you didn’t select the nearest shop? Hear me out on this.
I’ve just returned from two well-known high street retailers – one that rhymes with Em and Es and the other that involves waiting for a member of staff to disappear behind a counter for a few minutes while they search for your chosen item.
I drove the Citroën Xsara VTS, because the ‘Claudia Schiffer’ yellow paint makes it look like a La Poste van. Of sorts.
Naturally, I took
Say you’re a doctor from Glossop. Don’t head to Manchester, choose Sheffield and enjoy two runs on the Snake Pass. If you live in Haywards Heath, select Winchester from the list of options and enjoy a guilt-free blast along the A272.
It might be pushing it to suggest someone in Italy chooses a shop in France to enjoy a drive through the Alps, but the principle remains. Click and Collect is a driver’s dream.
It’s a win-win situation. You get to enjoy searching for gifts from the comfort of your home without being shoulder-barged by shoppers with coughs, sniffs, diseases and body odour. And all the while, you’re enjoying a drive which is part purposeful and part enjoyable.
There are other benefits, too. You don’t have to pay for the postage when you use Click and Collect. Furthermore, because you’re playing the role of mailman, you know that your parcel won’t end up in next door’s wheelie bin, left outside the wrong house or be stolen by a passing oik with nothing better to do.
It gets better. If you want to be the toast of the community this Christmas, why not offer to collect parcels for your friends and family? Endless free drinks and multiple tins of Roses are almost guaranteed in return for your random act of kindness.
Think about this the next time you use Click and Collect. Rather than select the nearest collection point, consult the Big Book of Brilliant Driving Roads and plot a course containing B-roads, hairpins and smooth tarmac.
Online shopping has never been more rewarding. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a parcel to collect in Aviemore.