A lady named Kym Marsh has been voted Rear of the Year 2015. Which is lovely news. The star of Coronation Dale & Away beat the likes of Kevin Keegan and a Holden Maloo to take the crown, before promptly disappearing to McDonald’s for a well-earned Big Mac. Or something.
But what has this got to do with PetrolBlog? Well, not a lot. Other than the fact that it has inspired us to look for our very own Rear of the Year. OK, so we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one, but it’s clearly a slow news today. And we couldn’t sit on our arses all day doing nothing.
So, here are our top rears from the automotive world. As this is PetrolBlog, don’t expect anything too exotic, so anyone hoping to catch a glimpse of the Ferrari F40’s bottom, or Porsche 959’s fat behind, should look away now.
This is your starter for ten. What rears would you add to this little lot?
Thanks to a memorable television ad campaign, the second generation Renault Mégane featured one of the most famous bottoms in automotive history. Kim Karwhateverhernameis couldn’t hold a candle to this shapely rear-end. And much like Kim’s bottom, it’s liked and loathed in equal measure. That said, as far as we’re aware, the Renault Mégane has never broken the internet. And we’re not entirely sure you could balance a champagne glass back there.
Did you know that four viewers complained about the TV ad’s famous “I see you baby, shaking that ass” lyric? The Advertising Standards Authority did not uphold the complaints, but did insist that Renault only mentioned “shaking that ass” once before 7.30pm. Ah, people of Britain. Thanks for being you.
A controversial choice, perhaps, but there isn’t anything quite like the BMW Z3 M Coupe on the road, and so for that reason it earns a place here. The classic ‘bread van’ styling combines with the quad exhaust pipes and the famous M badge to create an all-time classic. Following one of these at full chat is a sight to behold. Assuming you can keep up with it.
The front of the Citroën receives a great deal of attention, and rightly so. Much is made of the Maserati engine and Citroën chassis, too, but what about the rear-end? Take the time to study the back of a Citroën SM and it’s impossible not to think of it as otherworldly. The ‘Kammback’ tail was there for aerodynamic reasons and created a classic teardrop shape. It’s the most controversial part of the SM, but it’s also one of the most fascinating.
The Lancia Stratos must surely rank as one of Marcello Gandini’s greatest designs. And given his back catalogue contains the likes of the Lamborghini Countach and Miura, that’s really saying something. Its presence here is stretching the limits of PetrolBloggyness, but any excuse to look at that bottom is fine by us, right?
Here’s a topical choice, given the feature on the Fiat 131 Racing earlier today. Its inclusion here won’t be accepted by all, but PetrolBlog is not for turning. Arguably, the purity of the first generation 131 should see it getting the nod over the Series II, but there’s something about the light clusters, simple rear bumper and boot lid. You’re not convinced, are you?
The Land Rover Defender has to be up there with the best bums of all-time. If you asked a small child to draw the back of a 4×4, they’d almost certainly include a wheel on the back, two oversized mud flaps and a shape almost devoid of curves. When it goes out of production later this year, the automotive world will be losing an icon. And a properly nice bottom will disappear from view once and for all.
Admit it, you weren’t expecting to see a Renault 15 GTL here, were you? But just look at the bum on that. The discreet boot spoiler, the full length light cluster, the pure majesty of the rear bumper. This is one of Renault’s finest hours and more people need to appreciate the 15 GTL. It’s especially pleasing to see how a few simple extras can mark this out from less well-endowed models. We’re expecting it to beat Carol Vorderman in next year’s contest.
Another controversial choice, but the Saab 900 deserves its place thanks to the unmistakable rear light clusters. At night, you can spot a Saab 900 from a great distance, just by the position of the two lights on either side of the car. The 900 is the archetypal Saab and the rear-end is up there with the best of them.
Has Volkswagen ever managed to top the Corrado? Twenty years since it went out of production, the Corrado still looks better than anything Volkswagen has created since. Compare the G60 above with the modern-day Scirocco. There’s simply no comparison. And the automatic rear spoiler simply adds to the appeal. Volkswagen’s greatest bottom? Oh yes, although the MK1 Scirocco is worthy of a mention, too.
Renault has a habit of churning out great bottoms. As if creating a formidable hot hatch from the humble Clio wasn’t enough, Renault went one further with the manic Renaultsport Clio V6. It certainly wasn’t one for the faint-hearted and that famous rear-end could create some proper brown trouser moments.
We’re tempted to ask if our bum looks big in this? Or indeed, if we have given you a bum steer? Instead, we’ll simply ask what car would you crown the Rear of the Year? Let us know in the comments section or via Twitter. How about the hashtag #PBRearOfTheYear?