10 vehicles you'll almost certainly find at a village classic car show
This summer, towns and villages across the country will be hosting small classic car shows in pub car parks, on village greens and on those spare fields the local farmers never use. More often than not, these classic car shows are bolted on to larger events, such as village fairs and fêtes, but some communities go all out and host bespoke car shows.
A village classic car show is a unique experience, played out to the tune of church bells, fairground organs, petrol generators and erratic public address systems. The aroma is an intoxicating blend of hot dogs, cider, Pimm's, petrol and two-stroke engines.
It's also where you'll find lines of picnic chairs behind the rows of cars, half of which are occupied by ‘classic car widows’ who are trying their best to look interested. Some just give up and fall asleep.
If you've never been to a village classic car show, here are 10 vehicles you'll almost certainly find if you pay the 50p entry fee. Don't forget to buy some raffle tickets for the tombola; the draw will be made at 3pm and you can win a cream tea for two at the local National Trust café. Jam first, obviously.
A Jaguar E-type
In the same way there'll always be an England, there will always be a Jaguar E-type at a village classic car show. It's most likely to be a 2+2 or a Series 3, but the owner will insist that his E-type is the same as the one Norman Dewis drove to Geneva.
A tractor
The random tractor that tends to appear at a village classic car show will come in handy when the weather turns a bit British and everyone needs some help escaping from the muddy field.
A Triumph
The most common models tend to be the TR6, Spitfire and Dolomite. Make sure you get there by noon to see a Stag, because the owner will leave early to avoid hearing yet another ‘hilarious’ comment about reliability.
Something American
A random slice of Americana will add some fins, chrome or a V8 motor to proceedings, but you may also spot an orange Ford Capri with a Confederate flag on the roof. This will ruffle a few feathers in the WI tent.
A Morris Minor
A village classic car show wouldn't be complete without a Morris Minor. It's the quintessential British classic car; as authentically British as a defibrillator inside a red telephone box, a pub with a 'TO LET’ sign above the door, and farmland that's been earmarked for wind turbines or solar panels.
Something modern
Not everybody gets the memo about the event welcoming cars built before 1990, so there'll always be a random modern car spoiling a line of proper classics. Either that or the owner's Jaguar XJS failed to start, so the X-Type had to make a substitute appearance.
A Mk1 Ford Escort with the bonnet up
The Mk1 Ford Escort with the bonnet up will almost certainly be accompanied by a man taking a photo of the engine bay. This photo will live on his digital camera, never to be looked at again.
A military vehicle
The military vehicle will be driven to the event by an owner wearing a period correct uniform that's relevant to the car. This is fine until the owner of a Volkswagen Kübelwagen pops into the Pimm's tent for a drink.
An articulated lorry cab
A chap will turn up in his articulated lorry cab, complete with airbrush art on the body. Look out for illustrations of superheroes, celebrities and mythical creatures, plus the occasional scantily-clad lady doing strange things with a snake.
The Lord's Aston Martin, Bentley, Bugatti or Rolls-Royce
The local Lord and Lady will grace the village with their presence, wheeling out the Aston, Bentley, Bugatti or Rolls for the villagers to see. They score points if they arrive in a Bristol, a Lynx Eventer or a Range Rover L322 they've owned from new.
All photos © iStock
