The UK's nightmare car?

Major Waffle
Warranty Direct reveals what it calls the UK's 'nightmare car'. PetrolBlog finds it strangely appealing...

Warranty Direct has revealed what is classes as the UK's 'nightmare car'. Based on the company's database of 50,000 live policies aged five years on average, the 'nightmare car' would break down every other month and cost around £2k per year in repair bills. Considering the current PetrolBlog Fleet, this all seems rather reasonable to me.

In what could be seen as a stroke of genius, the company has taken data from all the categories in the reliability index, poured it all into a rather large pot. Following a little light mixing and time for it to settle, the resulting car would apparently look like this.

Nightmare Car on PetrolBlog

It might be me, but I think that has a certain appeal. It puts me in mind of what would happen if a Polo Harlequin was to fall into bed with a Ssangyong Rodius. It also looks a damn site better than any number of new cars currently available in the UK. Go on, admit it, you feel the same way too? No? So it is just me then?

But if you fancy recreating the nightmare car for yourself, you'll need the following ingredients:

Make and Model Car part
Audi A8 Brakes
BMW M3 Suspension
MG TF Engine
Land Rover Freelander Gearbox
Mercedes-Benz V-Class Ignition
Renault Megane Electrics
SEAT Alhambra Air-conditioning
SEAT Toledo Heating & Cooling systems
Volvo C70 Steering system

 

Quite a mixed bag. Apparently 40% of BMW M3s require axle and suspension work every year, with the same proportion of Renault Megane owners reporting an electrical fault. One in five Freelancers suffer transmission problems, a similar number of Audi A8s will need repairs to brakes, while a quarter of MGTFs will experience engine problems. No real surprises here, to be honest.

So who's up for creating the 'nightmare car' for real? I'm thinking that some A-team style garage antics, a hammer and a bit of imagination will see us right. We can then take it on the road trip to find the European City of the Shatchback.