Seat belt beeps
The PetrolBlog Point. The first in a new feature for PetrolBlog which could loosely be described as 'PetrolBlog having a rant' or 'Grumpy old PetrolBlog' or even 'Things that get on PetrolBlog's nerves'. But whatever you choose to call it, The PetrolBlog Point is a series of observations from the car world. Little points of view that need to be raised. Stuff that will ultimately single PetrolBlog out as a little bit weird. But when you've declared a deep-rooted fondness for the Ford Probe 24v and really quite fancy an MG Montego, then public ridicule can only be expected.
I'll start number one by saying that the modern world surrounds us with little warning beeps. When my porridge is ready in the morning, my microwave gives me three little beeps and I'm thankful for that. If I happen to receive a text message, my phone beeps and again, I'm delighted to be informed. My alarm clock too. Whilst I may detest the device for waking me from what was probably a dream-filled slumber, I have to accept that it is merely doing its job. As is the smoke alarm when it warns that the battery is running low on juice. A potentially life saving beep for which we can all be thankful. So beeps are, generally speaking, quite a good thing.
But when you move into the car, things change somewhat. Certain car manufacturers seem obsessed with beeps. A beep to tell you that the door is open. A beep to tell you that the keys are in the ignition. A beep to inform you that your lights are on. Maybe even a beep to tell you that your handbrake has been left on. There's even a beep to tell you that you appear to be sitting in a Chrysler Neon. All annoying, mostly irrelevant and all making the broad assumption that you're a little bit dim.
But my biggest problem with in-car beeps lies with the humble seat belt beep. Now you may call them chimes, but quite frankly that's giving them ideas above their station. No, a chime is generally a much warmer thing. I associate chimes with happier things, like bells signalling a wedding or a Christmas carol service. Or maybe a wonderful old grandfather clock. No, let us just call them beeps. Why oh why do manufacturers insist on fitting them? Seemingly the rot set in during the 1970s and has got progressively worse.
Do you think I might not have noticed that I haven't reached across my right hand shoulder, found the belt, pulled it across my body and inserted it into the fastener? Do you not realise that Jimmy Saville's 'clunk, click' is ingrained in my mind. Thanks to the tracksuit adorned blonde man with the big cigar, I do indeed 'clunk, click'. Every trip.
I can see the little red light on the dash that informs me that my belt isn't on. But if I want to move my car from the driveway to the garage, I really don't think I need to belt up. I'm equally fine reversing into a parking space without the belt on, thanks all the same. OK, so I know the problem is easily rectified by staying belted up at all times. But that's not the point, it is the incessant and irritating tone that gets on my nerves. It would be more helpful if you told me that the belts in the back that should be keeping my children safe have become unattached. A genuine reason for a beep. In fact, I'd even promote them to a chime on the grounds of safety.
So can I have an option box to delete the seat belt beep please? Thank you.
In the meantime, I'll start preparing the next PetrolBlog Point. Thanks for listening. It helps with the counselling.