PetrolBlog goes underground more often than Paul Weller, but if you'd said to me that the first post after a five-month break would be focused on a Renault Twingo plushie, I'd have choked on my Blue Nun.
But let's face it, there's not enough joy in the world right now. Britain hasn't been this divided since Blur went head-to-head with Oasis. Fewer people seem capable of reasoned debate without the aid of a milkshake. And Citroën has removed the Airbumps from the C4 Cactus.
They called it plushie love
"No other car is this well suited to turn even cuter and softer" than the Mk1 Renault Twingo, says Autoplush, the Swiss company behind the best plushie since, well... ever.
Judging by the About Us section on the company website, the two guys behind the company appear to have a sense of humour, which kinda helps when you spend your time producing soft versions of iconic cars in a basement.
Speaking of which, you can also buy MX-5 and Fiat 500 plushies, although neither is as cute and adorable as the Twingo, obviously.
Crash test plushie
That point about a sense of humour? Where else are you going to find a Renault Twingo plushie being subjected to a Euro NCAP crash test?
You can buy a Renault Twingo 'Harlequin', which is far more appealing than it sounds, although, at £19.92, it's £4.80 more expensive than the solid colours.
The guys at Autoplush haven't contacted me to promote their business or to mention the Twingo plushie. This blog post isn't the result of the countless 'Dear PetrolBlog, we love your content, please post this for us' requests PB receives on a daily basis.
It's just that the world needs more things like the Twingo plushie, and it's quite clear that, much like Nathan Jones, PetrolBlog has been gone too long. So this is a deliberately soft re-launch while the website gets back into gear.
Soft? Plushie? Geddit?
Never mind. Buy a Renault Twingo plushie, make the world a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race.