PetrolBlog's minor irritants

It seems you can't go too far these days without a new company issuing a press release about things that annoy us on the road. Confuse the Market says this, National Breakdown Flag says that and I Love a Good Warranty Direct says something else. Well I'm sorry, but nobody has ever asked me, which probably explains why none of the things that annoy me appear on any of the press releases.

I therefore thought it was about time I compiled a list of my own.

Presenting PetrolBlog's Minor Irritants. Episode one.

Tyre pressure abusers

I've already made my opinions quite clear on the modern petrol station, but there's now another horror on the forecourt. I'm talking about the drivers who think it is fair game to park next to the tyre pressure machine. We're familiar with the drivers who block pumps to rush in and buy their lottery tickets, but it would appear that the empty space alongside the air machine is equally as appealing. A couple of weeks ago I had to wait for the driver of an Astramax to finish heating his pasty before using the machine. He appeared five minutes later, apologised for his actions and simultaneously spat bits of steak and onion all over me. Nice. Then only yesterday I had to wait for a driver of a new Audi A4 Avant to look in his mirror and notice my presence. I can only assume he was just phoning to ensure his next copier toner meeting was on schedule.

Left, right winkers

Why is it that when a car pulls out in front of you, they seem to turn right just a few yards later? It always happens that way. There you are, making good progress when a Honda Jazz or Nissan Note appears in your view. They seem oblivious to the fact that you're bearing down on them at speed and slowly emerge from the junction. As if this wasn't enough, they then switch on their right indicator, forcing you to watch your life disappear in front of your eyes as they make the tricky manoeuvre. Thank you, 'winker'.

Blinders

When will some folk realise that headlights are set up in a way to avoid blinding oncoming traffic? Parking on the side of the road with your lights on, directly facing the traffic is not clever. If by chance you've managed to negotiate the parked car through the dazzling beam, you then have to drive the subsequent few miles with large white spots in front of your eyes. Do us a favour, switch them off.

Supermarket delivery trucks

The growth of online grocery deliveries can only mean one thing - more delivery trucks. For sure, the drivers are probably decent fellows, but where they park their trucks parked often leaves a lot to be desired. They'll double park in narrow country lanes, leave the van facing oncoming traffic after a blind bend and often play a 'blinder' (see above). I confidently predict that one day you won't be able to move for grocery delivery trucks. They'll be everywhere. And we'll all be fat. Or in a queue behind them. Or both.

Empty rural buses

My God, what a pain. If the rural buses around me are anything to go by, they spend the majority of their time running around empty. This means that they're forced to stay on schedule by driving incredibly slowly between each stop. So there you, staring at the abyss at a constant speed of 42mph trying desperately hard not to let the furniture supplies company's ad on the back become permanently etched on to your retina. To make matters worse, the 42mph seems to be like some kind of cruise control. They do exactly the same speed through villages with 30 limits, scattering children, dog walkers and pedestrians as they go.

The constants

Sadly this isn't confined to just rural buses either. How many dawn raids are ruined by the 'constants'? A glorious B-road often involves stretches of derestricted brilliance interspersed with 20/30/40 mph limits through villages. Being the law abiding citizen that you are, you slow down for the villages. So why can't the constants do the same? You're forced to follow them at a strict 42mph on the good bits and then watch as they leave you for dead in the villages. A bit like playing the hare to the Yaris Verso's tortoise.

Crawlers

These are rare, but that doesn't make them any less irritating. They are prevalent on roads where two lanes become one, so we're talking traffic lights and stretches of dual carriageways that are linked by single lanes. Why is it that as you wait patiently on the inside lane, a crawler will charge down the right hand lane and cut in at the last minute? As if that wasn't enough, they then proceed to turn into the slowest driver on the road. It's as though their right hand lane chase proved all too much for them and they're forced into a period of calm which in turn causes misery for those faced with following them until the next junction. Go away 'crawlers'.

So that's seven irritants. Admittedly, they're only minor, but sadly there are a lot more to list. But I'll save these for another day.

Thanks for reading. A problem shared, is a problem halved. And all that...