PETROLBLOG 2019: New Year, Same Old Tat

Major Waffle
Inspired by a Jalopnik post, PETROLBLOG wakes up in 2019 to discover that it owns a fleet of nine cars. So, what are PB's New Year 'wrencholutions'?

Oh, wonderful, just what the world needs: another needless new year’s resolutions blog. But don’t blame me, blame David Tracy of the parish of Jalopnik.

He has just posted his so-called ‘wrencholutions’, outlining the plans for his fleet of cars in 2019. I harboured dreams of doing something similar on PETROLBLOG, but other things got in the way. Like searching for a Signature Truffle in the Christmas tin of Roses.

Mr Tracy owns nine cars. Yep, that’s NINE cars. Madness, isn’t it? I mean, who on earth would carelessly amass a collection of nine cars without knowing it?

It’s at this point that you’ll find me staring into the middle distance, counting the fingers on two hands as I run through my own carelessly assembled collection of cars.

Citroën Xsara VTS, Renault Laguna, Mercedes W123, Citroën ZX 16v, Renault Megane Cabriolet, Isuzu D-Max, Citroën AX GT, " target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Renault Clio Baccara, Volkswagen Corrado VR6

So, that’s nine cars, then? Right…

That’s an awful lot of mouths to feed. Or, to put it another way, an awful lot of SORN declarations, MOT reminders and sleepless nights worrying about rust, condensation and mould.

Citroen Xsara VTS rear

In truth, I should offload a couple, maybe even a few. But whenever I start to prepare a list, I find ‘good’ reasons for a car to survive a potential cull. So, the fleet maintains the status quo, which might strike a chord with some readers.

It has been a while since a car left the fleet – the Honda Accord was the last vehicle to be sent packing – but a couple of new Renaults arrived in 2018. The £100 Laguna was too good an opportunity to let pass and the Clio Baccara was the realisation of a long-held dream.

Cutting to the chase, I can’t see any of the cars leaving the fleet in 2019 – it’s more likely that I’ll add one or two more. I still need to scratch that Proton Impian itch, while another Honda Accord is never far from my mind. And if the right Toyota Camry came along…

Renault Laguna at the tyre fitters

In the short term, I simply need to find more time to devote to the fleet. I can only look on with envy as Ian Seabrook, Chris Pollitt and Jonny Smith seemingly manage to extract a few extra hours from every day while continuing to produce top-notch words and pictures.


The fact is, spending time with my cars makes me incredibly happy. Only last week I spent half a day on the Laguna, clearing the drainage channels, removing and cleaning the rubber seals, fixing the rear wiper, painting the fog lights and installing a digital radio. I couldn’t have been happier.

Well, seeing Keeley Hawes arrive in a Lancia Thema 8.32 loaded with Hobnobs might rival a few hours in the company of a £100 Laguna, but you get the picture.

Longer term, the Clio Baccara needs fettling before returning to the road, the Xsara VTS needs some paint, the W123 wants some spring weather and the Megane requires a new rear window.

Even longer term, the ZX should be sent to PUG1OFF for some fettling, the Corrado needs far too much work for someone with a freelance income and the AX GT needs crowdfunding. Hey, you can crowdfund most things these days – why not a 30-year-old Citroën?

Generally, I have to get out more. The £100 Laguna deserves a trip to France, the Xsara and ZX should be free to enjoy Citroën's 100th anniversary, and I have to spend more time behind the wheel of the W123, if only to remind me of its greatness.

If nothing else, these 600 words should kickstart the new year for PB and serve as a reminder that things need to be done. Alternatively, I’ll link back to it in 2020 as an example of why new year’s resolutions aren’t worth a dime.

Hat tip to David Tracy for giving me something to write about at 2am. Good luck with your plans for 2019, sir.