It emerged last night that the Office of Originality (OoO) is set to launch a major recall of jokes based on the recent diesel emissions scandal. Plans are being drawn up which will allow anyone who has mistakenly used a 'mis-sold TDI' joke to retract their comment, freeing up space on the internet and helping to clear the streets of hot air.
The 'hilarious' pun is based on the not-that-funny-at-all Payment protection insurance (PPI) and many people in the UK will have received an unwelcome call or text telling them they may have been "mis-sold PPI." But officials are now warning "enough is enough."
In the same way Volkswagen probably wanted the dieselgate scandal to disappear in a cloud of smoke, many people hoped the 'mis-sold TDI' jokes would stop. But there are reports of the gag still being used by excitable parents at the school gates, in staff canteens and on public transport.
Indeed, social media remains clogged with the PPI-based hilarity.
I've just found out that I have one of the dodgy VW diesel engines. Waiting for the compensation calls now... "have you been mis-sold TDI?"
— Adam Kirton (@AdamKirton) October 7, 2015
Just had a phone call from Volkswagen asking if I'd been mis sold TDI
— Jennifer Hutchinson (@JenniferUK6973) October 6, 2015
Speaking on behalf of the OoO, David Edgar said: "For approximately three minutes and 24 seconds, the 'mis-sold TDI' gag was funny and original, but three weeks on, the joke is wearing a little thin. We hope this recall will allow people to consider their actions and to wipe the slate clean.
"We're still evaluating the best course of action, but anyone affected by the recall can expect a lukewarm cup of tea and an assurance that no further action will need to be taken. We have moved quickly as we feel this will be of benefit to all those affected by the scandal."
The recall was welcomed by Perry Pastiche, CEO of Crimes Against Comedy (CAC), who said: "We want people to get back to posting photos of small kittens and sharing videos of cyclists and drivers having shouting matches in the street. Nobody wants to hear another TDI gag."
Meanwhile, anyone who is told the joke for the umpteenth time is advised to stay calm and appear amused by the unoriginal quip. To help anyone affected by the scandal, the OoO will launch a YouTube video providing step-by-step instructions on how to look surprised and a warning that violence is not an appropriate response.