FailCar rants: Aston Martin Cygnet

General Bunk 00s cars
FailCar steps into the confessional to proclaim his undying love for a small and perfectly formed(?) Aston Martin...

FailCar is back on PetrolBlog and this time he takes a break from driving his 205 GTi is his socks to talk about the Aston Martin Cygnet. Don't forget you can follow FailCar on twitter or see his previous posts here.

I love the Aston Martin Cygnet. There I said it. To me it’s one of Aston Martin’s greatest products to date and that’s because by far the coolest thing about Aston Martin is the brand of Aston Martin itself.

VAG V10 DieselWe all know why the Cygnet came about, it’s purely because of EU emission regs. You know stuff like Euro V the thing that killed the Civic Type R, RX-8, Focus ST, Alfa 3.2 V6 and the VAG V10 diesel torque monster. The latter being able to tow one of those filthy inefficient aeroplanes, surely there was a solution to keep the V10 there?

It’s all just gotten ridiculous in this day and age with fleecing the motorist (#motoringcliché) every time a government department requires money us lot are just easy pickings. NHS or Local Council struggling with recent cuts? Simply increase parking charges. DVLA looking to get more money to pay for their V5-losing cock-ups? Just increase VED. Seriously road tax now is nothing short of ridiculous. Yes there are ways to get dirt-cheap or even free VED on some cars – but guess what? They’re all crap cars that I don’t want to drive.

Even the insurance companies are in on it, dodgy investments gone south mean that car insurance has shot up and frankly just simply running a car now (or three...) is crazy money and I haven’t even mentioned petrol prices.

Aston Martin CygnetWhat was I supposed to be talking about again? Oh yeah the Cygnet. It’s just about the coolest thing ever. I have my suspicions that it came about during some heavy drinking between Aston and Gazoo at the Nurburgring 24hr a couple of years ago. Shall we spend a shed load of cash making a pointless hybrid? No. Let’s just slap a grille on a Toyota iQ and give the upholstery department a shout.

The fact is something had to happen and would you rather Aston spent it’s money on racing cool stuff like the V12 Zagato, and producing more ‘bedroom wall’ cars or wasting money making something like a Rapide Hybrid. The Cygnet is the ideal solution.

Do I want one? Hell no. It looks ridiculous and costs a fortune. But as a symbol of us all just getting fed up with regulations, red tape and making the motor industry a target for revenue raising the Cygnet is king. As an embodiment of the British spirit of dealing with stuff when it just gets bonkers the Cygnet shows what we are prepared to do to prove a point while continuing to manufacture awesomeness. Still the coolest brand? Hell yeah. Just please don’t mention those Rapide ‘virals’...