Merry Shednesday. This week I’ve parked the mundane and am feeling the need – the need for speed. Just how fast can one go for Shednesday level expenditure? How does zero to 62mph in around six seconds sound? Ooh, suits you, sir. Without further ado, let’s get this fast show on the road.
To be precise it’s a £995 1999 Jaguar S-Type with an MOT. My Dad had a few S-Types, but never the V8. He also used to work in Swansea, where this car is based. I would say I orchestrated this connection, but as Kimberly “Sweet Brown” Wilkins said: “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
Looking at the pictures, you’ll notice the car has some rust issues. Hopefully some elbow grease and Hammerite will sort it out. Once de-rusted, you could paint the arches or cover up your handiwork with some chintzy chrome arch trims.
A more extreme alternative would be to replace the entire wing. This may sound expensive, but a quick look on eBay reveals that you can get front wings for as little as £20. The challenge will be finding the right colour. The alternative is the ‘Harlequin’ look.
The Jaguar S-Type has full leather, but also a peculiar rear seat stain; hopefully the seller/previous owner is a messy eater with a penchant for Katsu Chicken. Again, some elbow grease should shift it, otherwise there are always seat covers or replacement seats from breakers.
Under the hood is a V8. The only other V8s around at this sort of money are very leggy examples of Lexus LS400. The Lexus is a bigger and better car, but decent cheap options are snapped up in record time (much like the Subaru Legacy Spec B Tourer with the rare manual box that was to originally feature in this piece).
The V8 is meant to put out 281bhp, 287lb ft of torque, and take you to 62mph in 6.6 secs before its 150mph top speed. Not bad for £995. The only thing quicker for this money would be a Mazda RX-8 but the renowned compression issues would put me off.
Let’s see what the Major thinks.
It’s no Proton Coupé, is it?
This is my least favourite of Ben’s Shednesday choices to date. In an admission that is likely to get me chucked out of Car Enthusiast Club, Jags of this era have never appealed to me. Armed with a thousand notes and in the market for a saloon, I’d buy something like a Proton Impian, Kia Magentis or Chevrolet Epica.
The colour of this S-Type V8 doesn’t help. It gives it the look of a care home waiting room. Given the choice, I’d have a Jaguar XJ12C, although I’d need to sell a few more stickers before that dream becomes a reality.