Audi: Distress signals
When I was growing up, I considered Audi to be superheroes. I wanted my Dad to buy a ur quattro, but to my untrained eye, the standard Coupe would have been fine. For me, 8.30pm on a Thursday night meant tuning in to BBC2 to watch Tony Mason introduce another lesson in world rallying. The teacher was Audi and the pupils were the rest of the field. Forget A3 and A4, in those days Audi simply dealt in A+.
I often got the 4-ring Audi logo confused with the Olympics logo but it didn’t matter. The fact was, Audi could do no wrong. Even if they’d rolled into town claiming that Father Christmas didn’t exist and all my future Birthdays had been cancelled, I’d still worship the ground they drove on. Or drifted on.
They consistently retained their coolness levels throughout the 80s and 90s. The thinking man’s BMW and the choice of those who demanded quality and reliability but were not necessarily driven by brand or image. Let’s face it, the products were pretty damn good. The ur quattro would probably find a place in most dream garages, whilst the RS2, ‘Ronin’ S8, original S3, 80 Sport, S2 and urS6 remain effortlessly brilliant cars and hold a strong following amongst the petrolhead fraternity.
In the past, Audi has been happy to build a brand around a proposition of being the smart choice. Quietly delivering a line of brilliantly engineered cars and never straying too far from their ‘Vorsprung Durch Technik‘ tagline. True enough, the current crop of cars adorned with the four rings are brilliantly engineered, superbly put together motor cars. The problem is, buying an Audi no longer seems to be the smart choice, rather the obvious choice. The demographic seems to be shifting too. Clarkson himself has already alluded to the new breed of Audi drivers and although his remarks are purposefully controversial, he might have a point. It would appear that today’s Audis need to be driven on the limit at all times, often without any thought for other road users or conditions. Fine, this is a sweeping statement, but it is a testament to the sheer number of modern Audis on Britain’s roads today. Fair play to Audi UK and BBH the ad agency, you’ve created a monster and your products are desirable in the extreme. But haven’t you forgotten where you were less than two decades ago? If so, let me remind you of the advert above.
Clearly aimed at Mr BMW, I thought this ad was brilliantly observed and superbly executed. But times have changed and the tables have turned. Audi couldn’t and wouldn’t run an ad like this today, but BMW on the other hand might just be able to. Could make a for a brilliant viral campaign. BMW, if you happen to be reading, let’s talk!
I’ve been concerned that I might be falling out of love with modern Audis for some time, but the lights quite literally went on with the introduction of LED lights. Now yes, I know there’s a future safety directive to conform to, but for the average Audi driver they seem to represent some kind of status symbol. I guess it must be a dream come true, because for years they’ve been parading around with their fog lights blazing. Now they can do it legally and pretend that the M3 is a stage on the Monte Carlo rally and that Fleet Services is a checkpoint. Also, my eyesight hasn’t quite been the same since being followed by a black A4 TDi the other evening. So close was he, that my rear view mirror started to melt and I now have LED-shaped scratches on my retinas. Vorsprung Durch Should’ve gone to Specsavers.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure if I borrowed an Audi for the weekend I’d find it superb in every way. But the fact is, there isn’t one car in the current Audi line-up that I genuinely desire and that’s a shame. For as long as I can remember a trip to an Audi showroom would release a bucket of butterflies in my stomach, but not anymore. For every model currently available, there’s a better alternative from another manufacturer. In fact, my top 10 Audis list does not contain any current models. For the A1, I’d have the brilliantly packaged A2. For the A3, I’d have the original S3. For the RS6, give me the RS2. You get the picture.
I’ll stick with my old, but beautifully (over)engineered Audi urS6.
Now I know that my my thoughts won’t even register as remotely interesting to Audi, but I’lll leave you with this parting comment. Do I fancy a new Audi? “Nah, not really my style, know what I mean?”
Look, no LEDs
7 Comments
I hadn’t thought about it, but after some reflection I think I’m with you on that. I still lust after the wonderful Quattro Sport with that bewildering short wheelbase, and the long lithe C1 100s that were starting to fade out as I was growing up. I have a soft spot for the original Quattro Coupes, and all of the Ur-models for quietly punching above their weight, but nothing in recent years has pushed my buttons. I do admire the RS4 Avant, especially in blue, but even that’s now gone south.
My main issue is that the current Audi range is huge, but doesn’t seem to have a halo model.. or at least, if it does it’s down to on-the-road price bragging rights at the 19th hole. You can’t spearhead a range on numbers alone, but when your target audience is mainly made of people who play with figures for a living it’s almost understandable. I’m not quite sure how Audi see their own image these days – it’s almost as if they’ve stopped making cars, and instead moved into the lifestyle accessory market.
The danger with this is that that innovation and emotional impact become secondary to marketing and social climbing one-upmanship. Even their concept cars have become watered down glimpses into what they know they’re going to make next year anyway – look at the Sportback against the A7, the Le Mans Quattro against the R8, the Roadjet against the A1; By my reckoning , the last time Audi did anything interesting on the design front was with the Avus, and that was a long time ago…
Thanks for adding an extra layer to my text. I think you nailed it when you used the word ‘admire’ as there’s a lot to admire about Audi these days. The cars are well engineered, their marketing is spot-on and they have one of the most powerful global automotive brands. Each sponsorship is calculated to perfection and cars are ‘given’ to sports and lifestyle celebrities to further enhance the brand profile. Brilliant.
If nothing else, your comments helps me realise I’m not alone, which is both a relief and a great shame.
They still have some magic though. Even here in ‘leafy Surrey’ I still don’t see that many RS4s and the sight and sound of one will still capture my attention. Where else could you get a 4WD 4 door saloon with such a terrific engine note ?
I’d point to the Volkswagen Passat W8 if you’re looking for a 4WD 4 door saloon with a terrific engine note. What it lacks in brand and image, it makes up in noise, performance and value for money! But I take your point. As I say in my blog, there’s no doubting the quality of the cars, but a great deal of the magic has been lost. This may be down to the marketplace they’ve open themselves up to and yes, they’re doing awfully well out of it. Their current market positioning and brand image ensures that each new model in an ever increasing product line-up will sell and let’s face it, they’re not about to make a bad car. But look on the Audi homepage and scroll through the menu on the top. Each car in order is effectively a different car that’s been put through the photocopier and sized at 150%. Between the A3 and the A8, it is hard to notice any difference and fair enough, it is working for them and more power to them for it. But the corporate face is easy, I just want to see a radical Audi again that gives me the feeling that it was developed by engineers and car designers and not on the golf course or marketing conference. Alas, that is unlikely to happen in the short term.
I have to agree with everything written so far, and as MajorGav knows, I like my Audis. But the same could be true of almost any manufacturer today. In the strive for market share, the manufacturers make there cars better and more efficient, and by that, they mean removing the areas that were perceived as charteristics and soul by the enthusiasts, and problems by the rest. Unfortunately, the rest are those that are the main car buying demographic.
As for Audi in general, the A2 was the last Audi that I feel was engineered, rather than styled. The A2, which was roundly critised by the automotive media for its looks, and the fact you couldn’t lift the bonnet (the grill could be dropped to gain access to the fluids). In this day and age, a car like this would sell by the bucket load. Small on the outside, large on the inside, economical and light (aluminium frame meaning 850Kg if I recall). A car truely a decade before its time.
If you have a yearning for pre ‘A’ series Audis, get yourselves over to Classic-Audi.co.uk to see how it used to be done.
A great post, and one that I heartily concur with. For me, the last desirable Audi was the ’99 S4, or if I could afford one, an RS2 Avant.
I think they’ve lost their way with design and don’t know the way back. The A8 is a prime example of this, well built in the extreme, but why pay all that money for an enlarged A4? The A1 does nothing for me either. And those god awful LED running lights will spread their way to the Chav’s favourite Corsa and Saxo, just as Lexus’ clear rear clusters did.
Another nod of approval. Was thinking I was a lone voice, but it would appear not. Well summarised by the way!