The Citroën CX Estate: “nobody with any brains would make anything so dangerous or so clumsy. Nobody with any sense would ride in it.”
Not our words, Lynn, the words of Chocky in 1984. Granted, when it comes to reviewing cars, this extraterrestrial from outer space isn’t in the same league as LJK Setright or Mel Nichols, but she certainly knew her stuff.
Talk about raining on a family’s parade. One minute Mr Gore had arrived home in his shiny new Citroën CX Estate, the next minute Chocky was doing her – or should that be, its – best to convince a young David that the CX was “stuck in the age of the wheel”.
Admittedly, the CX had been on sale for a decade, but we can’t help but think Chocky was being unduly harsh. That said, maybe Chocky had seen the recently launched Renault Espace and thought that it represented the future of family motoring.
In which case Chocky really did know her stuff.
In case you hadn’t guessed already, this is the second update in the occasional series entitled ‘PetrolBlog in Unexpected Places’, which – as the name suggests – identifies PetrolBloggy cars where you least expect them.
Reader Neil McGrory was inspired by the appearance of the Renault 4 in Glitterball and was quick to send PetrolBlog a fax with details of the Citroën CX in Chocky. Here’s what Neil had to say: “Matthew’s parents buy a Citroën CX and everybody is impressed with its futuristic lines and powerful engine.
“However, Matthew becomes very upset when Chocky tells him that the car is old-fashioned because it has wheels, a combustion engine and a manual gearbox.”
As Neil goes on to say, Chocky seems to be suggesting some kind of levitating Tesla would be preferable… back in 1984!
Chocky: the most enlightened and forward-thinking car reviewer the otherworld has ever seen.
You’ve got to love Matthew’s initial enthusiasm for the CX, before the rug was well and truly swept from beneath this feet. “What’s the drag coefficient?” he asked, before guessing it was around the 0.30 mark. Given the actual figure of the CX saloon was 0.36, that’s a pretty good stab.
Other things worthy of a mention include a two-tone horn, which brought a slice of the Arc de Triomphe to British suburbia. Also note the single wiper and a brief glimpse of the CX’s interior, complete with plastic covers still protecting the seats.
Oh, and in case you were wondering where you may have seen Matthew’s friend before, he played Kay Harker in the classic The Box of Delights. As for the Citroën CX, the DVLA has no record of it, perhaps suggesting the A863 ACL plate was a fake?
The Citroën CX went on to star in a number of episodes, including a time when it whisked the family away for a country break. The boot swallowed the luggage with ease, although Chocky may have preferred the flexibility of one of those new-fangled MPV things. That said, the last time we looked, they relied still relied on ‘inflated sausages’ to wrap the wheels.
If you’ve spotted something PetrolBloggy in an unexpected place, drop us a line. Hat tip to Neil McGrory for inspiring this latest update.