Exclusive: it’s a Skoda garage door, honest

Ahead of the 2016 Geneva Motor Show, Skoda has announced plans to enter the garage door business. This shock development comes as Skoda releases a teaser image, along with a promise that “something big” is going to happen.

This news has wrong-stepped automotive media outlets, with industry insiders previously predicting a 2016 launch for a large SUV. Sadly not nicknamed the Grand Yeti, the seven-seat Skoda was expected to arrive later in the year.

Teresa is ‘really excited’

We asked Teresa, a lady walking past the Skoda dealer in Northampton, for her views and she gave PetrolBlog this exclusive quote: “I expect a garage door built by Skoda to maintain the brand stuff and product bits we know and love about our Czech mates. I understand from Stella – a checkout girl/gossip at the local Lidl – that the garage doors will include lots of cleverly simplistic ideas, such as an ice-scraper hidden on the inside of the door and an umbrella attached to the main frame.

“I’m really excited about the Skoda garage door, but if you don’t mind, I need to rush off to meet Joan. We’re having our nails done.”

PetrolBlog understands that Skoda’s range of garage doors will maintain the market positioning of its cars, therefore sitting slightly lower in the frame than the more premium German rivals. The quality will be just as good, the prices will be more competitive and the dealers will be nicer to deal with, but we predict many customers will still flock to the lure of a shiny badge and a name that impresses their mates.

No vRS garage door planned

There’s currently no truth in the rumour that Skoda is about to launch a vRS garage door. Spy shots taken at the Bonneville Salt Flats led us to believe Skoda was testing a new super-fast garage door, with the aim of smashing the land speed record for the opening and closing of an up and over garage door.

It was thought that the vRS garage door would be a suitable celebration for the 15th anniversary of Skoda’s performance arm. Instead, its arm is going to be too busy opening and closing garage doors.

Skoda Superb TwinDoor
TwinDoor: not coming to a garage near you

World’s first garage TwinDoor?

Skoda has also rubbished reports it’s planning to revolutionise the garage door sector by introducing a TwinDoor version. First seen on the second generation Skoda Superb, the TwinDoor could be opened like a hatchback and a saloon. An insider at Skoda told us “that flaming thing” had created enough confusion amongst its dealers and customers to last a lifetime.

We’ll bring you more of the latest news from the 2016 Geneva Motor Show, well after everybody else.

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ABOUT AUTHOR
Gavin Big-Surname
The chief waffler and founder of PetrolBlog in 2010. Has a rather unhealthy obsession with cars from the 80s and 90s, and is on a one-man mission to collect the cars nobody else wants. Also likes tea and Hobnobs.

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