Ton's Real World Dream Barn

General Bunk The Barn
PetrolBlog's Dutch correspondent flies over with details of his Real World Dream Barn. He's clearly not afraid to bend the rules a little!

PetrolBlog's Dutch correspondent flies over with details of his Real World Dream Barn. He's clearly not afraid to bend the rules a little!

As you may or may not have not have read in my bio, for as long as I can remember, I'm not really much of petrol head, but all the more a Porsche head. So when thinking about a Real World Dream Barn, I could easily fill the whole list with ten Porsches and be perfectly happy. Or just buy a 959 and be done.

But for the sake of staying close to both The Major's philosophy and my own confession of discovering new non-German car brands that don't start with "Por" and end with "sche", I will add a special rule for my list. Apart from the £30k a car budget, let's say there can only be one Porsche on the list. And that is assuming I can keep my current 968...

To make things more interesting, I will include links to the classifieds section on PistonHeads. Let's assume for a moment I live in Britain and don't mind a steering wheel where the glovebox ought to be.

1. Audi+Porsche RS2


Audi RS2 on PetrolBlogTechnically not a Porsche, nor an Audi, I start off with the loophole in my above set of rules. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted one of these. Whereas today we slowly get used to Audi's RS line-up outperforming yesterday's, and in many cases, today's, proper sports cars, back in 1994 a proper estate comfortably moving around up to five people with considerably more oomph than the then current 911 (the 250bhp 964) was rather unheard of.

Available in some of the same colours as the Porsche 968 Club Sport found on the Major's list, (for instance Speed Yellow and Martime Blue), sporting the same wheels and mirrors as said car, this car is hard not to like and maybe more a 'proper' Porsche than a VW VR6 powered Cayenne.

I'll take this one, thank you very much. If true, the 964 RS rims on this particular car (magnesium alloy, as light and fragile as a super model) alone are worth a fortune (think as much as 20% of the asking price of the car).

2. Citroën SM


Citroen SMTo the best of my (really rather limited) knowledge, the SM is the only car that requires a thief to break glass before being able to steal the front end license plate. Ultimate coolness right there. The other great feature of the SM is of course the Maserati engine. With an interior more resembling a living room than a cockpit, the good old Citroën is a must have for a drive along the Cote d'Azur at a modest pace, window slightly opened...

With only one to be found on PH, it's a rarity.

3. Maserati 3200 GT


Maserati 3200GTPersonally, I think the £30k-a-pop budget is on the high side and hence invites me to look at (semi)super cars from yesteryear. While sometimes still confusing, the Italians have a great tradition in naming their cars. The name has to say what the thing does, what's under the bonnet and what you're supposed to do with it. So what we have here is a 3200cc V8 powered Grand Tourer.

Where the Giulietta only differentiates itself from the Bravo that it actually is when the taillights are on, the 3200 GT can easily be awarded with the 'most elegant taillight design of the century'.

On a personal note, I have to admit that this car has gone down in coolness a lot after figuring out my boss has one. Despite this instant drop in coolness, I still want one nevertheless. Fabulous design, lovely roaring engine with as-near-as-it-makes-no-difference 400 prancing horses, and nothing of the vulgarness of a Ferrari. This is my pick here.

4. Mazda RX-8 R3


Mazda RX-8 R3I must confess I know next to nothing about this particular car. But what I do know is that there should be a rotary engine in my stable just because I love diversity. A Japanese car is also a must, and since I have no affection to Nissan's GT-R in any way, this car would be my best bet. To make it more desirable, it's equipped with another nice trick: suicide doors! That's a double want! My pick's here. Looking at the choices thus far, we saw a straight engine, then a V8 and now a rotary.

5. Porsche 911 Carrera S (993)


Porsche 911 Carrera S 993Introduced as a limited edition model, sporting the wide body and bumpers from the Turbo, this particular model ditched the heavy all-wheel drive system in favour of the old and trusted rear engined rear wheel drive layout. First things first: I'll have this one, thank you very much. This particular car is covered in the special colour Vesuvius metallic, which depending on light can be anything between grey, black, brown and purple.  Mirrors, wheels and rear wing were finished in a contrasting titanium shade.

It was a Porsche 911 Carrera S in this very configuration that I, as a 13 year old kid, was picked up in 1996 to say goodbye to the 968 and hello to the Boxster at official introduction of the Boxster model range.

Needless to say: I want one, and it has to be a Vesuvius metallic one. I'll even pay the £950 over budget out of my own pocket.

6. Fiat Dino 2400 Spider


Fiat Dino 2400 SpiderWhat's missing in my stable so far? Right! Something with a folding roof. And not just any old something, but a true classic. A Ferrari that doesn't wear a Ferrari badge. The perfect invention for the Porsche enthusiast to enjoy the dark side without making it all too obvious? Perhaps...

I could've put the Lancia Thema 8.32 on the list to have a Ferrari-in-disguise, but unlike the Lancia, this Fiat is actually a gorgeous little car to look at.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find any at PistonHeads, but to make up for that, here's a video of a Dutch classic car company (The Gallery - worth a visit whenever in Holland!) that has one for sale. Please forgive me, for this car is demanding a little premium over the £30k target. A £20k premium to be exact. But I think I've more than made up for that with the various Volkswagens and the Mazda. Fiat Dino on YouTube.

7. Volkswagen Passat W8


Volkwagen VW Passat W8 Estate

So far we have a straight five, a V8, a Wankel design and a flat six. You could be forgiven for thinking there aren't any other engine layouts around, but you'd be wrong nonetheless. While the Passat B5.5 might be a bit dull, the engine offering is impressive. Can you name another car that could be specified with a 4, 5, 6 or 8 cylinder engine? Yes, I said 8.

Enter the Volkswagen Passat B5.5 W8. At a whopping 4-litre, this is actually the car with the highest displacement engine of the barn. Hardly the fastest, but the perfect sleeper. Where the Audi+Porsche RS2 is more of a sports car in estate disguise, the Passat W8 is just a fast, great sounding, fuel slurping car that despite the huge engine lives its life completely below the radar.

Currently the only one I could find on Pistonheads is this one. I trust that for a grand or two extra, one can find a more pristine model without tow-bar. Thanks.

8. Jensen Interceptor 3


Jensen Interceptor 3First things first: if there should be a British car on this list, it should be a series 1.5 Jaguar E-Type. But since I already went over budget with the Fiat, I won't do it again. But think quintessentially British, and a whole slew of cars come to mind, not just the E-Type.

The second one, for me, is the Jensen Interceptor. Blessed with the coolest name possible for a car and a big fat American piece of iron they call engine. My term to specify the 7.2 liter V8 would be 'noise machine' 'cause that's what it produces most. Pleasant noise, mind you. Power output is exactly the same as a 3.8 Jag with 2 pots less.

Some might say an Italian design, American engine and British craftsmanship is a sure way of success, but for me combining these three actually shouldn't work at all. And yet, it does, and I want one.

9. Volkswagen Corrado VR6


VW Corrado VR6Staying with German cars for just a tiny bit longer, we come to the final engine layout in this article. What do you do when you can't decide between a V or a 'reihe' (German for 'row') engine? Right, you combine them! Some may look at the Corrado VR6 as part Golf, part Passat, part Vento, part whatever other model's parts they used to create it, but the Corrado is a typical example where the whole is more than the sum of its parts.

I've written this before and more likely than not, will write it again: finding a good, unmolested Corrado is extremely hard. With unmolested I basically mean bone stock. Luckily our budget is more than enough to sort the offerings from highest to lowest price and pick the first result. In this case, a lovely 'completely stock' Volkswagen Corrado VR6 Storm. The Storm was a limited edition with all option boxes ticked. Owned for 11 years by the same man, apparently sharing my opinion that the best Corrado is a stock Corrado. Sweet!

10. TVR Sagaris 4.0 Coupe Speed Six


TVR SagarisA car that is completely bonkers, hate to admit it, but that might suite me rather well. Does it get more insane than a bright green TVR with flaps, wings, defusers and gills everyone you look? I think not. Being the last TVR developed under the wings of Peter Wheeler, shortly before the company's demise under the ownership of a Russian kid my age.

Even though both cars ended up on this list for other reasons, my number 3 and 10 share something in common. Throughout the years, extensive market research (read: browsing PistonHeads, mobile.de etc daily) led me to believe that Maserati and TVR are the brands to look at when looking for big horsepower numbers for affordable prices (initially, that is). Here's my pick.

So there you have it, my dream garage if only one Porsche allowed. Perhaps a bit more supercar-esque compared to MajorGav's list, but still enough humble cars, I'd say.

Total spent? Two hundred and twenty thousand pound sterling. Not bad. I think I'll throw in a £80k bonus car. A nice track toy perhaps?

For £300k, I would get 11 cars, 68 cylinders, in excess of 3000 horsepower and about a gazillion torques. Not bad when you compare that to the price tag of a new Rolls Royce Phantom, Maybach 57, Ferrari 599 etc.

You can follow Ton on twitter @Tonsty.

Citroën image courtesy of Ignis, Fiat image courtesy of Ligabo, Jensen image courtesy of Letdorf, 993 image taken from sale ad mentioned within the post.