Shatchbacks V: The Final Frontier?

I’ll start the fifth update of Shatchbacks with a sobering point. I’ve received enough content suggestions to ensure that Shatchbacks will continue until at least the seventh episode, so not quite the final frontier – yet. Who would have thought that there was so much misery on our roads? On a lighter note, I’m delighted to report that manufacturers are clearly seeing the marketing potential of Shatchbacks. A quick Google search reveals that Hyundai, Peugeot and Vauxhall have all bought Shatchbacks as a Pay-Per-Click AdWord. Nice. But for your information Google, no I didn’t mean to search for hatchbacks!

But anyway, back to more pressing matters – the small issue of another set of booted horrors.

Daewoo Lanos sedan – nominated by @evomagazine

It is highly unlikely that evo magazine will ever feature a group test of Shatchbacks, but if they ever did, there’s a good chance that the Daewoo Lanos sedan would play a part. Frankly, I can’t see it picking up a coveted five star rating, unless of course the rating is based on ability to cause nightmares or to induce vomit. The Daewoo Lanos was never much of a looker as a hatchback, but in saloon form it is positively dreadful.

Daihatsu Charade saloon – @carliterature

Here at PetrolBlog there’s a quite a bit of love for Daihatsu. It may be no longer possible to buy a new Daihatsu here in the UK, but some of the previous models are remembered with a fair degree of fondess. Firstly, there’s my first car – a magnificent little Charade XTE that cost me only £30 to buy and even less to run for a whole year. It was a brilliant little car for my student days. Being made from old crisp packets and ring pulls meant that the build quality was quite literally rubbish. But it also meant that it was lightweight and therefore easily the quickest car in the college car park.

Then there’s the Charade GTti, a brilliant little hot hatch that was recently remembered in Simon Ford’s Real World Review. Finally, who can forget the Box of Frogs – the Cuore Avanzato? I enjoyed six months with the little rocket and even made a healthy profit when I came to sell it. Thanks for the memories Kermit.

But there’s one car that can single handedly overshadow all of this greatness. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the Daihatsu Charade saloon. Words fail me. Almost.

I do wonder what’s going on in the photo. I can only assume that the daughter was so disgusted by her father’s choice of new car, that she instructed her mother to lock him in the boot until he promised to bring home a proper car.

Fiat Marea – @robgt2

When you think of Italian cars, what do you think of? A Ferrari or a Lamborghini perhaps? Or maybe an original Fiat 500 circling the streets of Milan? How about an old Lancia, Alfa Romeo or Maserati? Or, rather cynically, maybe you think of unreliability, dodgy electrics and heavy depreciation. But whatever, you don’t tend to think of a Shatchback, do you? Well if your name is Rob, maybe you do. I therefore present the Fiat Marea.

Citroen C4 sedan – @DeffoMotoring

These days, there’s much to admire about Citroen. There’s the sublime C6, the handsome C5 Tourer and the delightful DS3. In fact, a quick browse of Citroen’s UK website reveals an array of interesting alternatives to the mainstream choices. But there’s one car you won’t find on the UK website and I suggest you write to Citroen UK to thank them for such a gesture. I’m talking about the C4 sedan and believe me, it isn’t nice. I have a feeling that Citroen agree, which is why they do everything they can to ensure that you don’t look at it. Take this press shot for example. Is it me, or is this a deliberate attempt to use a backdrop so busy that your eyes are diverted from the actual car? Maybe your attention will be drawn to the skyline, or the ship or the annoyingly good looking couple stood next to the lamppost? Quite why the couple are so happy is anyone’s guess? I can only assume that they haven’t been shown the back of the car yet.

You may or may not be pleased to find out that there are more Shatchbacks waiting in the wings. Watch this space…

Marea image courtesy of Rudolf Stricker and Lanos image courtesy of OSX.